Final revision: is it any good?
May 14, 2010
Just checking to see if I can get one final set of criticism for the query I’m trying to get done. This is my final revision, so you won’t be hearing from me again. I may be annoying, but I’d be eternally grateful to see a request for material because of your awesome help
"Dear Mr/Mrs LastName,
“What if you’re wrong?” has quickly become a primordial question to answer; and with the Atheistic movement quickly picking up the pace, a Theist will have no other choice than to begin answering.
The Skeptic Mind, a non-fiction book in progress, unravels the facts behind the religious movement and explains why it is not only morally wrong, but harmful to our society. From the horrendous truth of the Mosaic Law to the ghastly concept of constrictive fear; from the psychological need of a god to the method to surpass this; this book covers many aspects of which a doubting Christian, Muslim, Jew, or Hindu would wish to be informed.
Using evidence from the Holy Books and modern-day science, The Skeptic Mind supplies readers with a proper and gradual introduction to the faults of religion, something which many seem to leave out of recent bestselling novelties. This is an addition to the powerful arguments, which are sure to make the reader consider the possibility that the concept of God is pure mythology.
As for me, I am a dedicated new writer with over three years of interest and research in the domain of religion and biology, having studied the depths of the Bible and the Tanakh, as well as several different aspects of evolution. If represented, I will be committed to help the process as best as I can, my ultimate goal being to increase the awareness of this 10,000-year-old legend.
Thank you for reading this letter and I hope you will consider representing this book.
Sincerely,
Eric LeBlanc"
Thanks again.
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May 14th, 2010 at 7:26 pm
That was very impressive. The sentence that begins with "As for me…" sounds like a run-on, but I doubt the reader will notice or care. Nevertheless, you may want to separate it into 2 sentences.